


Love Was Made To Forget It

by Waterloo



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, I Don't Even Know, I Tried, M/M, i love them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-14
Updated: 2016-08-14
Packaged: 2018-08-08 15:08:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7762585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Waterloo/pseuds/Waterloo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He loves this boy and everything feels like drowning.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love Was Made To Forget It

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know. I wrote this and I never finish anything so I thought I'd post it. After Cursed Child this ship was just on my mind.  
> Enjoy the very rough angst.

_"Do you ever think it stops hurting so much?"_  
_"What do you mean?"_  
_"I mean. Being in love"_  
_"Shut up you idiot"_

In the end it's the neighbour that makes him do it. He'd been stood outside the lacquer door for ten minutes, red Docs on the scruffy welcome mat, and she'd thrown open her door and told him to knock or fuck off. He'd questioned whether to call her out on her obvious stalking, but she seemed scary. He was already fucking scared enough.  
He knocked.  
He's not sure whether that's a mistake or not.

 _"Scorpius. You like Rose."_  
_"What?!"_  
_"You. Like. Rose. My cousin. You know, ginger lass."_  
_"Um, not bloody likely."_  
_"What? Why? Is my cousin not good enough for you?"_  
_"No! Rose is....lovely. She's just not my type"_  
_"Your type??! You don't have a type!"_  
_"Al. I'm going to say this once, and then we're going to actually to our Herbology homework for once, okay? I'm. Gay."_  
_"...."_  
_"Al?"_  
_"Oh_ "

 He's just as fucking beautiful as he always was. Stupid beautiful hair and stupid beautiful eyes and a dress sense that a house elf would approve of. He hates him and he loves him and he can't stop.

Albus stares at him like he's seeing all of it. The adventure and the friendship and the love and all the shit that means he's here, standing at Albus' door, for the first time in four years.  
He does not look happy and Scorpius wants to kiss him and punch him, but mainly he wants the nosy fucking neighbour to piss off.  
"Scorpius" Al says. Like he's testing it out. And like he's kind of pissed.  
"Albus"

_"Scorp"_  
_"Al?"_  
_"We've been friends for how long now? Eternity?"_  
_"I mean its been like three weeks...."_  
_"Alright. So its been a long three weeks. It's time we moved on to the next stage of our friendship"_  
_"Am I meant to be scared right now?"_  
_"No you idiot. Shut up, I'm being nice right now"_  
_"Alright. Go on. What's the next step?"_  
_"I, Albus Severus Potter, declare you, Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy, my best friend above any one else"_  
_"Do you think our parents hate us? Those names are abusive"_  
_"Shut up and say it back"_  
_"Fine. You're my best friend"_  
_"Say it properly!"_  
_"Do your homework. Idiot."_

Al doesn't even say anything. He just holds the door open, nods to his bitch of a neighbour, and waits for Scorpius to move into the flat. His legs are so shaky he thinks he might just fall to his knees on the welcome mat. He wants coffee and he wants to be anywhere else but here and only in Al's presence for the rest of his life all at once. He hates this contradictory situation so fucking much.  
The flats yellow. Its cream walls and yellow everything else and there are blue mugs stacked along a kitchen window sil. There are photos everywhere. Al and Lily, Al and James, all one million members of his family packed onto a sofa he knows first hand is uncomfortable as fuck. He knows these photos and he knows every photo that isn't there any more.  
He knows this flat. He loves this boy.  
"Do you want some coffee?" Al asks, leant against the closed door. Scorpius is stood in the middle of the living space and the distance between them breaks his heart.  
He loves this boy.

_"She's wrong"_  
_"I never said she was right"_  
_"I don't love you"_  
_"I know"_  
_"I promise I don't love you"_  
_"Scorp, shut up"_

"No" Though his mouth is so dry he practically chokes the word out.

"Where the fuck have you been?" Al snarls.

No prelude. No 'how are you?'. No 'why are you back?'. No 'wasn't it funny when you left for four years and didn't tell me?'

This is Al. Scorpius hates himself for leaving, but he can't stand here in this apartment, the one only they had known was shared, and say he regrets it.  
"Paris" Scorp wishes he regretted it. He wishes he hadn't been right in leaving.  
Al surges forward a few paces, arms held out like he wants to grab Scorpius "Fucking Paris? You left for Paris?"

 _You left me for Paris._ He knows this boy like he knows himself.

"I'm a writer. Where the fuck else would I go Al?" He spits. In times of crisis, Scorpius does sardonic. Al was the only one who didn't hate him for it.  
"Don't call me Al, bastard"  
Messy black hair and green eyes he could drown in and no bullshit. The love of his life. But he can't make himself the villain.  
"Albus. Don't you dare pretend like I could have stayed"  
Messy hair and eyes that keep him afloat and an expression like Scorpius has hit him "You _could have_ stayed"

_"So your staying?"_  
_"Yeah"_  
_"And your dad doesn't want you back?"_  
_"He's ill"_  
_"He's drinking again"_  
_"Go fuck yourself Albus"_  
_"..."_  
_"You don't get to say shit like that"_  
_"I'm sorry"_  
_"You are not"_  
_"Stay at ours?"_  
_"I'm sorry?"_  
_"Over break. Stay with me"_  
_"Oh"_  
_"Oh?"_  
_"Fuck off"_  
_"..."_  
_"Alright"_

In the silence, there is everything. There is Scorpius' curled fists and Al's despair and every stupid time they thought they could make it. There is Al's fear and Scorpius' blind hope and every rejection. There is separate sortings and separate houses and different people. The Malfoy Gryffindor and the Ravenclaw Potter. Too brave and too smart and both idiots in the end.  
But Albus is not that stupid.  
"Don't you dare rewrite history like that Albus. Don't you dare pretend that everything could have worked if I'd stayed" Scorpius tears a hand through his messy hair "you would have kept breaking my heart and I'd have kept pushing and we'd have loved each other till it killed us"  
Al steps forward again. His eyes cut paths across the too-wide gap. Scorpius can see the years he has missed. He knows this person, and at the same time he is a stranger. Too many goddamn years.  
"You were my best friend"  
He hasn't cried. He hasn't cried in so many years. But this boy is breaking him.  
Al continues, voice full of the kind of emotion that could sink you if you weren't careful "I loved you!"  
"That's why I left"  
He hates himself for sounding cold. He really does.  
"You wouldn't love me enough, Al"

_"I still think our parents hated us"_  
_"She didn't laugh.....that hard"_  
_"I'll punch you if you don't stop smiling"_  
_"I'm sorry! I'm sorry... it's just. You got rejected by a girl 'cause you have stupid name!"_  
_"Your name is just as stupid"_  
_"Shut up"_  
_"Not so funny now, eh?"_  
_"Shut. Up."_  
_"Albus Severus"_  
_"I hate you"_  
_"Al"_  
_"Don't call me that!"_  
_"It suits you. Al"_  
_"I hate you so much"_  
_"Allllll- ow!"_  
_"You deserved it"_

"I'm out"  
There is a weight on his chest. He is in a river and there is a weight on his chest and he is drowning. He can't breathe. He can't fucking breathe.  
"To my family. I came out"

_"Get on the bed"_  
_"No"_  
_"Scorpius. Get on the bed"_  
_"Al. I Can't share a bed with you"_  
_"Why not?"_  
_"Al. Fuck off. You know why not"_  
_"Cause you're gay? Shut up and get on the bed"_  
_"I'll sleep on the floor"_  
_"Get. On. The fucking bed"_  
_"Al! It's weird"_  
_"Its not weird for me"_  
_"It should be"_  
_"Why? Because we're two reasonably attractive queer teenagers? Get on the bed"_  
_"Wait. Two? You said two. Two??!"_  
_"Get on the bed you idiot"_

"Why?"  
It's not the right thing to say. Al looks at him like he's an idiot.  
"Because I'm gay and there my family" He goes on when all Scorpius does is blink and continue to try and process what Al has finally, finally done "And.....And because I should have done it years ago"  
"Yes" Scorpius whispers "You should have"  
Al winces "I- I'm so sorry Scorpius"  
"You should have told them we were together" Scorpius says, voice growing "You should have told them the first time I asked you too. Or the second. You should have told them after the fifteenth time I asked"  
Al strides forward. Stops. Takes a step back.  
"I was scared" he whispers.  
"And I wasn't?" Scorp wishes he sounded calmer. Angrier. Better. He just sounds sad.  
"You were braver than me" Al whispers.  
He scoffs "Al, you scared me so much I ran to fucking Paris"  
"You didn't have to go" Albus is crying. Albus is crying and Scorpius still loves him so much that the sight cracks him right down the middle.  
"You wouldn't tell them Al. I couldn't love you in secret anymore"

_"So, what? You're gay?"_  
_"I don't know. How did you know?"_  
_"Oh. um"_  
_"What?"_  
_"Its kind of awkward"_  
_"Why?"_  
_"Because I'm in your bed. And the answer is you"_  
_"You knew you were gay because of me??"_  
_"Uh...yeah"_  
_"Well. This is awkward then"_  
_"Don't I fucking know it"_  
_"No- I mean. I mean my answer is you too, I think"_  
_"You think?"_  
_"...."_  
_"...."_  
_"...."_  
_"You- You kissed me"_  
_"And if you don't shut up I won't do it again"_  
_"...."_

"Do you remember the first time I kissed you?" Al demands. He's shifted somehow. He's determined "That's the bravest I've ever been. After you left, I just kept thinking 'how did I do that? How was I that fucking brave' And my answer is always you. Always"  
Scorpius is crying. He is fucking crying. He hates himself ad he loves this boy.  
"But after we graduated it got so fucking scary. I was eighteen and I was meant to be an Auror or a dragon tamer or fucking Minister of Magic- but all I wanted to do was love you forever. It scared me so much"  
Al's in front of him. His thumb on Scorpius' cheekbone, catching saltwater.  
"And I just kept thinking of telling that to James. Or my dad. I'm Harry Potters son, Scorpius. I wanted to open a cafe and love a boy, a Malfoy, and be boring and happy and in love. But I am Harry Potters son. I got all of his legacy and none of his bravery. I was so scared"  
He's holding Scorpius' jaw, tears running over his thumbs as Scorps fingers clutch the hem of Al's ragged T-shirt.  
"And after you left I realised I didn't care. You'd gone and everything just seemed to matter less. I told them. I didn't give a shit what they thought. I'd lost you"  
His hands scramble, wiping tears of Scorpius' face.  
"I'd lost you and nothing mattered anymore"

 _"We'll be friends forever, right?"_  
_"Don't ask stupid questions. Learn"_  
_"It's only History of Magic"_  
_"How are you in Ravenclaw?"_  
_"That's where the hat puts all the devastatingly handsome delinquents"_  
_"Shut up"_  
_"We will right?"_  
_"Don't ask stupid questions_ "

"Why didn't you tell me?" Scorpius croaks. Albus is so close and everything has been so wrong for so long.  
"I didn't know where you were, idiot" Al gives a breathy laugh "And I thought you might hate me"  
"I did" Al's face falls "But so much less then I loved you. I thought..."  
Scorpius leans in. Placing a kiss that tastes like tea and the seven cigarettes he's smoked already today on the lips of the most beautiful idiot in the world. It is just as rough and indelicate as all there kisses have ever been. They were indelicate. They were delinquents. They kissed like two people who loved each other too much and knew each other too well.  
"I thought you didn't love me enough to try"  
"I was an idiot" Al's mouth ghosts Scorpius'. Half a millimeter apart, whispering all the things they never said into each others mouths.  
  
_"Rose says we're idiots"_  
_"...."_  
_"Scorpius. Are we idiots?"_  
_"Yes"_  
_"Oh. You...really like me?"_  
_"Really"_  
_"You want to kiss me"_  
_"Yes and really and so much"_  
_"You're an idiot"_  
_"Why aren't you kissing me?"_  
_"You said you didn't love me"_  
_"What?"_  
_"In fourth year. After Rose made that joke. You kept saying it. You said you didn't love me"_  
_"Oh. That"_  
_"...."_  
_"...."_  
_"You kissed me again"_  
_"In fourth year, I lied"_

Scorpius steps away. He loves this boy, but everything feels like drowning. He used to love this boy like it was the only thing that gave him air. It had all gone wrong when his love for Al had started to feel like all the air had left the room. He didn't want that again.  
"We can't be idiots this time"  
Al frowns "But we're so good at it"  
Scorp laughs "Al, I love you, but we have to be open this time. Honest and equal and all that shit."  
  
_"Do you think James knows?"_  
_"Would it matter?"_  
_"Of course it would fucking matter!"_  
_"Al. We can't keep it a secret forever"_  
_"Why not?"_  
_"Because that's not how love works, idiot"_

Al steps forward again, back into Scorpius' personal space.  
"You can't leave again" He says, stoutly.  
"I won't." Scorpius wants everything. Black hair and green eyes and fear "I won't ever leave you again"  
"You didn't even say goodbye" Al states.  
"I wouldn't have been able to leave" He whispers. Al stares at him. Green eyes searching grey. He is looking for truth. For promises kept.  
Scorpius looks right back. He finds.

Albus grabs his wrist, turning it over to check the time.  
"All that shit yeah?"  
And before he can say anything, they are spinning. Tugged away and clutching each other.

 _"Um. Hi"_  
_"Hi"_  
_"...."_  
_"Do you want... to sit, or something"_  
_"Yeah. Um. Okay"_  
_"...."_  
_"...."_  
_"So....You like quiditch?"_  
_"Don't be an idiot. Who doesn't like quiditch?"_  
_"You're the idiot!"_  
_"Am not! I'm Albus._ Don't _call me Al"_  
_"Why would i call you Al? I'm scorpius"_

 

They materialize outside Al's grandparents. The patchwork cottage teeters above them.  
"Its Sunday" Al says simply.  
Family dinner. Every Sunday for years.  
"We're allowed to bring the people we care about"  
Scorpius can't say anything. He loves this boy and he is breathing for the first time and everything hurts in the good way.  
"The people we really care about"

_"They won't mind?"_  
_"We're allowed to bring the people we care about"_  
_"And that's me?"_  
_"Don't be an idiot. You're my best friend"_  
_"...."_  
_"Why are you looking at me like that?"_  
_"Just best friends?"_  
_"Best friend. Boyfriend."_  
_"What? They're interchangeable?"_  
_"For us they are"_

Al holds his hand and no one says anything. He holds his hand and Al hugs his mother and teases his cousin and first bumps his nephew and holds Scorpius' hand. Rose attacks him with a hug and James claps him on the shoulder and Ginny smiles like she knows something. Albus holds Scorpius' hand.  
He loves this boy.

_"But do you think it does?"_  
_"You're so dramatic"_  
_"Answer the question"_  
_"I think that when your old and smarter and you have your shit together, love stops hurting. I think when everything's okay, love must feel like.."_  
_"Like what?"_  
_"Like breathing"_

 

 


End file.
